urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:embers_burning I dont want to be a cowboy anymore zach erased 2008-05-04T00:03:19Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:embers_burning:48943 2008-05-03T20:21:21Z 2008-05-04T00:03:19Z Black Lips hello journal,<br /><br />its been awhile.<br />i dont know why I'm writing in my journal now, but i feel i need to get some stuff off my chest.<br />to those of you that dont know i moved out to 23rd and beardsley at crossroad apartments.(which probably wasn't the best idea but there is no going back now.)<br />I'm am currently jobless, not going to school and leaching off my mom's money which makes me feel horrible.<br />the worst part about it is that im not doing anything to change it, i just drown myself in alcohol and pot.<br />my mom gave me a card to a quack she knows, but i havnt even looked at it. its like im subconsciecly trying to ruin my life till i have nothing at all. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:embers_burning:48771 2007-04-12T16:37:20Z 2007-04-12T16:37:20Z what do you do when you forgot what you were doing in the first place? urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:embers_burning:48587 2007-04-09T19:53:26Z 2007-04-09T22:11:53Z so im bipolar? at least what the doctor told me. im not sure how im suppose to feel about this news. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:embers_burning:48376 2007-04-08T11:47:35Z 2007-04-08T11:47:35Z sometimes i wish i were religous so i could wake up in the morning and say god loves me and everything is going to be okay. but i dont and waking up has been getting harder and harder every day. Im really slipping now everything that was in my life a month ago is completely gone and i have no desire to get it back. im going to a doctor tomorrow, maybe she can pump me full of meds so i can get some other feeling than destress. Im not very fond of the idea of going to a doctor that is just going perscribe me meds that dont even work but it seems like if i dont do anything now it could be too late and i would be stuck in some crazy house, not like my room is any different, it seems like a prison now. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:embers_burning:47903 2007-04-02T07:26:27Z 2007-04-02T07:26:27Z "God does not play dice" urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:embers_burning:47699 2007-02-22T03:05:51Z 2007-02-22T03:05:51Z "supreme commander" = me urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:embers_burning:47371 2007-01-06T00:35:42Z 2007-01-06T00:35:42Z dirty greecy handjobs in truckstop restrooms urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:embers_burning:47140 2006-10-30T01:51:23Z 2006-10-30T01:51:23Z im sorry urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:embers_burning:46890 2006-10-17T04:21:02Z 2006-10-17T04:21:02Z so i have decided to stop school for a year and move out, im hoping that i will be able to get enough money saved up by this summer so moving out wont be so hard<br /><br />im not really sure why im doing this, but it seems like a good idea urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:embers_burning:46750 2006-10-10T07:06:46Z 2006-10-10T07:06:46Z &lt;/3blah urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:embers_burning:46412 2006-09-18T15:54:03Z 2006-09-18T15:54:03Z sometimes I think I don't have as much control over my life as I think I do. each day has its challenge or something that gets to me. I have changed a lot over this year and for the good but I still a lot of changing to do. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:embers_burning:46318 2006-09-04T03:25:50Z 2006-09-04T03:25:50Z i would like to say your sex is amazing but its not urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:embers_burning:45638 2006-08-11T06:53:08Z 2006-08-11T06:53:08Z it seems like i lost all control over my life over the last month<br />everything is a mess and i have no clue what im doing<br /><br />AHHHH urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:embers_burning:45370 2006-07-25T07:21:12Z 2006-07-25T07:21:12Z why cant i just have healthy skin, i dont even want to go out because its so bad =(<br />i wish something would work =/ urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:embers_burning:45182 2006-07-24T01:53:44Z 2006-07-24T01:53:44Z someone save me from this horribly boring day urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:embers_burning:44931 2006-07-16T07:55:44Z 2006-07-16T07:55:44Z The Eraser urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:embers_burning:44586 2006-07-15T10:15:46Z 2006-07-15T10:15:46Z i need something new in my life urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:embers_burning:44382 2006-07-12T04:54:03Z 2006-07-12T04:54:03Z WHERE DID MY PERSONALITY GO?<br />do i even have one ? urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:embers_burning:44093 2006-06-16T05:21:37Z 2006-06-16T05:21:37Z tonight i feel like a bird urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:embers_burning:43886 2006-06-13T21:29:50Z 2006-06-13T21:29:50Z so remind me to wear sunscreen next time im out in the sun.<br />i look like a lobster =(<br /><br />im glad i signed up to the gym , i have been feeling a lot better , and its been giving something to do besides smoking pot. I'm going to try actually saving my money now, and stop wasting it on something that only lasts a few hours. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:embers_burning:43638 2006-06-08T05:03:25Z 2006-06-08T05:03:25Z it finally looks like my life is falling place, this is a nice change and im happy, and im pretty sure its going to stay that way<br /><br />i signed up for LA Fitness yesterday and its a really nice place<br />later that day ( after the recovery nap ) me and cody went to rubios and got some spicy fish tacos, and after that me and stacey saw the omen which was pretty much like the old one but a little better , i didnt like the first one . <br /><br />My manager said something about my gauges and asked if i could get something my professional then he said they look silly. i hate that douche-bag<br />=) urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:embers_burning:43404 2006-06-06T04:30:37Z 2006-06-06T04:30:37Z i wish i had balls urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:embers_burning:43037 2006-06-03T06:09:24Z 2006-06-03T06:09:24Z im going to kill you, count on it urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:embers_burning:42782 2006-05-25T21:35:24Z 2006-05-25T21:35:24Z thats chapter one, would you like to have chapter 2, you better , son of a bitch , i know the way urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:embers_burning:42584 2006-05-25T07:01:30Z 2006-05-25T07:01:30Z I just beat SiN Episodes: Emergence , ya im kind of a big deal.